Comments on: A whole new weaning… Diapers be gone!

By: Jennifer Fink

Jennifer Fink — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:49:54 +0000

No advice, but virtual hugs and sympathy. My youngest is also a strong-willed 3-and-a-half year old little boy (who’s still in diapers). My oldest son was strong-willed too, but this child consistently beats any record for strong-willed I’ve ever seen. Ever single day he amazes me and does something to make me shake my head — and with three brothers before him, frankly, I thought I was prepared!

By: Kristi

Kristi — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:18:33 +0000

My strong-willed, extremely stubborn child is now 14yo. We never really had potty issues, but had problems with other things. He too was very extreme with his will, emotions and his resolve. I’ve cried many tears trying to be the kind of mom he needed and there are still times when I feel this way. I don’t really have any advice. I just want you to know that you are not alone. -@TweetingMama

By: Crystal Gold

Crystal Gold — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:02:32 +0000

Please see the follow-up post to this http://thevervepath.com/2009/11/22/bringing-back-diapers/

For anyone with VERY strong-willed children, please let my experience be a lesson. We have to let them lead and trust them. We MUST!

By: Bringing back diapers « The Verve Path

Bringing back diapers « The Verve Path — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:59:48 +0000

[...] I didn’t have to write this. I am so upset and disappointed in myself. If you read my last post you already know the back story to our toilet learning process with M. It has been very [...]

By: Crystal Gold

Crystal Gold — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:39:42 +0000

Tara-
This is great advice and thank you so much for sharing. I especially thank you for reminding me about how we approached weaning with M. It is so easy to get caught up in the pressure and I am not proud to say that I think we did. We are doing exactly what you suggest. We are backing off and letting him lead us now. I am going to post a new blog to follow up to this I think. Thanks again!!

By: lovenursing

lovenursing — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:40:19 +0000

Good luck to you Crystal! It’s kind of comical to me that you’re taking his diapers away… I’ll be checking up on how that’s going

By: The Maven

The Maven — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:30:02 +0000

First, you’re definitely welcome When I see an overwhelmed mom I just want to reach out and hug her. It’s not an easy job! There are SO many things I want to say, but the long and short of it is: I’ve been there. I have three boys who are simply MORE. More spirited. Higher energy. Higher needs. It’s a good thing I got sober a long time before having my kids or I would be that stereotypical 50’s housewife with the stashes of sherry all over the house! LOL But really, I’ve been there, and it is so damn hard some days.

I was going to email you about my experiences with DS#1, but I can’t find an email link! If you want to talk about spirited kids, please feel free to fire me off some mail. I’d love to chat any time!

By: Crystal Gold

Crystal Gold — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:00:52 +0000

Thanks for all the info everyone! I really hope more will continue to post. However, we have decided to step back and stop for now. M has not peed for over 27 hours!!! And he has had a diaper on that whole time. We told him this morning that we are sorry, mommy and daddy will not be pushing him and will give him some time. We aren’t going to do any more with it until at least the new year unless he does it himself. I just can’t watch him go through this. Last night he slept with us and woke up several times whining and flailing around. I asked him what was wrong and he said his belly hurt. He never did potty and was dry all night. I can’t let him go 27 hours without urinating. There is no way. So we are removing any expectations or pressure and not even going to talk about it. And I am going to ask the school to do the same thing. I am hopeful that he will realize that he is ok and start pottying more regularly again.

Ugh, this is so hard!! I feel awful and helpless and frustrated. I really really hope that more information will come in from people that have been through this. Thank you again to those that have already offered your help.

Crystal

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:09:56 +0000

I know that Ocean isn’t fully potty trained yet and I am no where near a potty training profesional but here was my experience with it. Ocean used to run away and yell “NO, I SAY NO!!” Everytime you even mentioned going to the potty. I think that was because I tried something “No Cry Potty Solution” told me, I let him run around naked all day so that he learned how it worked and associated the action with the feeling. He had an accident in the hallway and made quite a mess and I’m sure it tramatized him because he was quite upset. So I backed off a few weeks. Then I tried to let him run around in big boy underwear so that maybe when he peed he wouldn’t like the feeling of being wet and would want to go in the potty, he didn’t care about being wet. So I backed off for a while again. We still read the books and watched the videos (Ocean is a visual learner) and every time I changed his diaper I told him it was wet or poopy and asked him when he was going to use the potty like a big boy and went though the list of all of his friends who are big kids that use the potty. Then one day while I was changing his diaper he kept saying “Ice Cream Cone” so I told him if he used the potty Daddy would bring him home an ice cream cone. And to my suprise and amazement he said “All Right” and marched himself to the potty. So maybe you have to find the bribe that best suits him because I have tried using candy and toys even his favorite M&Ms and they didn’t work, but he really wanted an ice cream cone. And what he wants changes from day to day, minute to minute actually. So when he wants something, like to play outside or fruit snacks I tell him he has to use the potty first. This tactic didn’t work the first time I tried it, it took the ice cream cone for the break though. But I think it was because he was ready. And I’m sure there is a lot of pressure to get Maddox potty trained because of his age and being in pre-school but you may have felt pressure to wean him too but you took his lead and made it a pleasant experience. Maybe you could try taking the same approach to potty training and take his lead. Don’t worry he won’t be in diapers forever! When he is ready it will be a peice of cake! Ohh and another thing I just remembered, I didn’t do it with Ocean but someone told me to try to put the potty in the living room or if he has a place that he goes to ‘hide’ when he is going in his diaper to put it there. Ocean usually ‘hid’ next to the couch. This was going to be my next approach and if he regresses with the potty training it will be my next ‘experiment’ I hope this helps, you have helped me so much with the mommy thing I wanted to give back.

By: vanessa

vanessa — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:03:51 +0000

I am not much help I just have to say your son has the personality it sounds like of my 2 year old girl. My oldest is the exact opposite and wants to please and can be talked into anything. My 2 year old has been since a baby…if she doesn’t want to do something she DOES NOT and thats that. There is NO persuading, calming down…
In a way I think man how lucky that she feels so strongly on what she wants and isn’t easily persuaded. And then the other part of me is terrified! And potty training her I know is going to be HARD SO! I am going to watch you do it first and hopefully you will have a post soon and what worked! Cause I am SO nervous!